Back in the day when I first started shoving sharp objects through my own skin to try to be cool, it never occurred to me that one day everyone and their brother would be doing it. I mean for Christ’s sake, when you have vanilla chicks like Drew Barrymore sporting a tongue barbell and fame hounds like Janet Jackson talking about her clitoris piercing on talk shows, I start thinking about the Bible and the weird stuff that will signal the ‘end times’ before the Apocalypse. Drew Barrymore pierced her tongue? Are you kidding me?
What I want to know is this; when are the different people (like me and probably most of you reading this) going to be left alone, and allowed to exercise our God-given right to shock, appall and cause old white ladies and small animals to flee from us? Man, what’s it going to take to get even a second look out there with all the ‘newbies’ sporting 2 inch tunnels in their ears and petite little chicks with enough metal in their nether-regions to trip metal detectors in China? Seriously, I’m trying to contemplate where it all ends and what us ‘weirdos’ have to do now to even get that ‘look’ from squares. There’s already tattooing (passe), genital body piercing, surface piercing, scarification, bifurcations, and branding out there. I even saw a tattooed eye-ball (when I find the pic I’ll post it up for you). Maybe what I need to do to be a trend setter again is to just tear off my skin completely and walk around like a real-life version of that muscle-man dude you see on the poster hanging at the doctor’s office! Maybe if I was oozing plasma all day as my body attempted to become a walking 6 foot scab, I might get a few stares again. Then again, even taking it that far would eventually be copied endlessly by little muscle-men wannabes until going without skin would become ‘normal’ and lame. I swear to God, it’s getting harder and harder to be strange these days, and it’s really pissing me off!
(When I find that pic I’ll throw it up here.)
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